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It's All Greek To Me...or...Σ π = Sum Pi...or...Rho, Rho, Rho Your Boat

Α [Alpha] bet soup can be eaten while flat on your back
Depending upon your α [angle of attack]
Β [Beta] be good like Johnny
If you have high β [sound intensity]
Γ [Gamma] and grandpa might send you fruit cake
Depending upon your current γ [specific weight]
Δ [Delta] living is good at Giusti's pier
Unless your tip has a deleterious δ [percent error]
Ε [Epsilon] wit' me baggage won't ye?
'Cause I see yer a redcap wit' ε [permittivity]
Ζ [Zeta] good example for your kiddies
And consume your food with little ζ [vorticity]
Η [Eta] lot of spicy food at sin city
And now our blood has high η [viscosity]
Θ [Theta] been one heck of a wrangle
With a herd of horns at a precarious θ [angle]
Ι [Iota] give your head a fist sized indentation
Or sock you so hard it'll determine your ι [orbital inclination]
Κ [Kappa] the bottle of bubbly mister pitcher
Before it effects your slider's κ [curvature]
Λ [Lambda] is a ram of ovine psychic strength
And his shepherd shares the same λ [wavelength]
"Μ [Mu]," complained the kitten
"Your petting has too high a μ [coefficient of friction]"
Ν [Nu] revelations often come
With limited ν [degrees of freedom]
Ξ [Xi]'d by side we'll peramble
Guided by any ol' ξ [random variable]
Ο [Omicron] nick bad habits and libations
Might doom me with nary a ο [little o notation]
Π [Pi] can be apple, cherry, rhubarb, pecan, peach, apricot or berry
But π [3.1416...] of them is hard to divvy up fairly
P [Rho] boating in fog has a propensity
For collision, depending upon its ρ [density]
Σ [Sigma] 'n Freud thought that man has a predilection
For psychosis and non σ [standard deviation]
Τ [Tau] art the bottle I'd uncork
With a gentle tug and a bit of the τ [torque]
Υ [Upsilon] side with you in such propinquity
That I've fallen for you due to the shared υ [frequency]
Φ [Phi] for your right to date in a tux
For it will surely enhance your φ [magnetic flux]
Χ [Chi] brr pass is 3500 foot high and chilly
As a relationship filled with χ [electronegativity]
Ψ [Psi] ents fiction can be so twisty that it'll gnaw
At you and cause you to roll and to ψ [yaw]
Ω [Omega] me so mad that I will whirl so swiftly
That Taz will be jealous of my ω [angular velocity]
Yogie to Bogie

A Yogi is a master of a kinesthetic discipline (sometimes in the dark)
Yogi Bear worked the picnic grounds with Booboo at Jellystone park
Yogi Berra caught for the Yankees and wasn't amphibious
A yogurt berry is stirred from the bottom to make the mix delicious
A stogie cherry is the lit end of a cigar not in your mouth
Marion Barrie was mayor of Washington, D. C. in the south
Bogie married Bacall, then costarred in life and the silver screen
And a bogie is a UFO or just one over par on the holey green

Swing, jazz, soul, country, rap, rock, roll, blues, bluegrass and roots
Are all genres that originated in the good ol' USA
These are all mixed up in the americana genre today
Which we listen to in Crocs, flip flops, tennies and cowboy boots

You can listen to it on freighttrainboogie.com
Where Bill Frater's DJ work and his ear
Provide for podcasts where you can hear
The best songs from many an americana album
I've Only Had One In Dog Beers*


After a painful morning jog
I went in for a pint
Just a dog bite
A hair of the dog
I brightened like a fog dog at the site
As it settled nicely with a stiff white collar
Into the glass, like a dogmatized vicar

On the bar was a damp dog-eared rag
Some say the paper is gospel
I think it's doggerel
Just political dog-legs and dog-carts going 'round
For the chance at gaining a pound
(But I am no lucky dog to win the mother-lode
And it's a dog age since my pony even showed)

Well fed and well read
I head off to dog paddle
My way through city hell
Fleeing and dogged from onus and by dread.
But soon I come to my dogtoothed steeple
Where I work a dogwatch for the people
And shake my daily hangdog spell.

Two hours hence I hie and pray,
Dogs barking, as I make my way
To the dogface dining lair
For a salty serving of free seadog fair.
Then three more watch dog stints
Where it's dog eat dog and I'm dog-tired
...it's a dog's life and I mean to win it.

*Thanks to Walt P for dog beers inspiration
A Dog Nose


A dog knows friend or foe
Through the use of his nose.
He might negotiate a new meeting via smellotreaty
(oft dependent on smellascopic readings)
But that might be a bit too dogmatic
(Especially if you've bacon in your pocket).

A stranger might trip the smellustat
(With bark and growling quite dramatic)
And a feline pet's scent might makes a dog go smellacatic
But if you are nice (both you and the cat to be specific)
Then when next you knock on the door
His dog mood might be elated via his smellulator
(Assuming he can retrieve a smellafile
For you the perambulator
Approaching the door to his domicile).

Oh, there's no adjusting the smellometer
No matter how thorough the dog tutor.
So if on a walk she's a bit smellapostal
And she continues to be developmental
You might allow a brief perusal
(Just watch where your feet are).

A doggerator sets the speed of a dog.
And believe me, puppy,
You don't want to step on the doggerator!
And if today one is off his heel
Then adjust the dogostat
(Don't forget the kind word and the pat).

I Love K-PIG (Cayucos, CA 94.9 FM)

Oh my merry Kay,
What would you have me say?
Oh how I want you to tune me in today
To hear how I'd make you mine.
I've love anow, e'en with your lips like wine
You'd still be my sooee sweet swine.
You'd still have the same upturned piggy nose
And those pig's feet cute as little piggy toes.
And oh how your curly little pigtail flows
As you piggyback my squealin' v-twin hog.
We'll be so happy in the slop and across the bog
And I will cast before you pearls
(Not ingots of pig iron)
Because you are so not like the other girls
With silk purses but no ear for the call of sty environs.
You are no pig in a poke
No rider upon some pork barrel
You are my only hope
And I wish ne'er to say farewell.
So stay, my sow, my vow, my Kay.
Together, forever and a day.

Orbital Decay

Is there space between the branes
Where I might fold myself
Unto myself
And unfurl a few dimensions
Just for fun?

Could I gravitate
From and through anything [1]
Like some of the dark matter
Filling the finite universe,
To get some sun?

Might I find quarkness
Beyond the Planck limit
With tachyonic ease
While not trying to minimize
Any particular one?

Could I be part of a neutron star
Just within the event horizon
Or the heartbeat of the pulsar
Making rhythm with strings
In vibration with Albert's equation?

[1. revised 9/15/16 when I read that an experiment disproved theories of gravity propagating faster than light]
Piece Quilt

Get in on the piece quilt.
It's come in like a bolt from the sky.
We'll all give it a try.
Let's all help and get it built;
This community quilt.
Come on,
Get in on the peace quilt.

Get in on the piece quilt.
We can all sew a little piece
Of heart and soul into each
Applique or crazy patch
On the piece quilt.
Come on,
Get in on the peace quilt.

Get in on the piece quilt.
It hasn't any borders
And only softest corners.
There's no wasting, just basting
Together on the piece quilt.
Come on,
Get in on the peace quilt.

Get in on the piece quilt
And start batting together.
For in friendship quilting
It's the insides that matter.
We're filling in the piece quilt.
Come on,
Get in on the peace quilt.

Get in on the piece quilt.
Trim some selvage from the weft;
Install binding on the lofty batting
And patches raw edges.
Put it together on the piece quilt.
Come on,
Get in on the peace quilt.

Get in on the piece quilt.
We keep the slubs in trapunto
To insure diversity
In the feel and the glow
Here on the piece quilt.
Come on,
Get in on the peace quilt.

Get in on the piece quilt.
There's no pleating our bias
Or stippling the sashes,
But we're poplin ribs and cutting the fat quarter
For a better piece quilt.
Come on,
Get in on the peace quilt.


I had a collection
Of rare automobiles
And upon further reflection
That trade was more of a steal
So I called up that Vegas dealer
Who still had the Rolls,
The Packard, the Benz, and the Fords

And I told him
"You can keep the Phantom,
The De Luxe, the Marlene and the A
But I want my Model-T back.
I want...my Model-T back!"

Damn that dealer
He had aims of his own
He couldn't see straight
He wanted to give me the limo's and the A
He wanted to give me the 12's and the 8's

"You can keep all the power,
The majesty and the relic,
But I want my Model-T back.
I want...my Model-T back!"

I started  thinkin'
About my ol' radiator
Which just got me steamin'
And feelin' like a wreck and a traitor

"Oh, you can keep the cool cars,
With the swank and the roll bars,
But I want my Model-T back.
I want...my...Model-T back!"

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"The grass might get too Curly if you Moe it too often."
- Solomon Tall (6/24/2016)

"The tax code for artificially spiced soup is 3444 (fee for faux pho)."
- Solomon Tall (2/2/2016)

more Tall-isms here

Copyright © 2016 by Joe Pivetti