Military Intelligence Anderson and Black found amongst the Dragon Bones Many of homo erectus, as well as tools of stone, Which were packed and taken to Beijing Where US Marines were to ship them with esteem. In 1941, Japanese took Camp Holcomb and the foot-lockers hiding the fossils, Unknowingly resulting in an anthropological loss of proportions colossal. In 1792, French Revolutionaries commandeered and made happen That the 70-meter-long Bayeaux Tapestry went over a wagon. Fortunately, it was recognized by a police commissioner Who ordered recovery and a replacement canvas cover. The 1000-year old embroidery still depicts the Norman conquest of England And now resides in the Bayeaux Museum near where D-day began. Oliver Cromwell, General of Horse and Lord Protector of the Commonwealth of England In 1649, melted down the original Crown Jewels of England for coin, Including the ninth and eleventh century crowns of Alfred the Great and Queen Edith. After two civil wars, Royalists returned to power and dug up Cromwell's corporeal pith That was hung up in chains and beheaded; the head being held as a valuable vestige Before finally coming to rest under a plaque at Sidney Sussex College in Cambridge. |
Echocardiography At a drama club read She asked me Do you know your part? Yes, I said, I know it by heart. While combing my hair to meet her family She asked me Do you know your part? Yes, I said, I know it by heart. When studying crib assembly instructions She asked me Do you know your part? Yes, I said, I know it by heart. When cutting a graduation cake She asked me Do you know your part? Yes, I said, I know it by heart. After getting an artificial knee She asked me Do you know your part? Yes, I said, I know it by heart. When preparing scripted dialogue for our 50th She asked me Do you know your part? Yes, I said, I still know it by heart. |
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Slower Now I've come to let life ease by Enjoying each piece of pie While visiting comfortable faces And friendly places. I like easy drinking libations Without confrontation, condemnation or pretension. Which leaves just us and potations: Brown ale, red wine, cider and rye. |
The Name of the Wind is...Maria It was on the tip of his tongue "Arghh...I've burned my tongue" [Memories are not always in good taste] "Perhaps its just dejavu...or soup not left to cool "Or maybe, just maybe, the soup doesn't like being called broth "Okay, bisque...mmm...aaah...that's what I thought "The name of a thing is often unknowable But if it might speak, it'd likely be le Soupable." |
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QBism* Prof's. Lawrence, Seaborg, Glaser, Townes & Alvarez told QB's Rodgers, Goff, Morton, Bartkowski & Ferragamo: A cyclotron can break open magnetic ends via a very tight spiral launch Radiant emission stimulation can turn chaotic energy it into a laser beam throw Quantum mechanics can allow a pass through two slots at once Quantum entanglement can reveal the action before it's temporal turn And a new o-line susceptible to inside push supports the qbism postulate that agent action is of central concern *Note: QBism is, I think, erroneously pronounced "cubism" in the physics vernacular |
Herb's Garden If you pluck herbage from above, are you working over thyme? If an old Sherlock Holmes movie is on your backyard tablet, is Basil in the garden? Is being told how to manage a spice garden really sage advice? Could a hellish garden clone become Rosemarie's daughter? If you cast away a garden's spicy actress, might it be ginger? Has his anise become the butt of your friend's garden jokes? Could you get caraway with a crazy dish? Does anybody knows who's cumin or who's leavin'? If you're short on spice, will there be sorrel in the morning? If your spicy Indian food impresses your boss, did you curry favor? If you don't like the food in Portland, is it oregano for you? If the pastor says "each male pastry chef has done wrong," is it cinnamon? If a grower is weeding a pickley patch, is there a farmer in the dill? If you want to spice up a note on mother's day, would you send cardamom? In Gone With the Wind, when they ran out of spice, was it tarragon? If you make a perfect julep, is it in mint condition? If you fry up some spicy dough, could it be a fennel cake? If you made nasty jokes about the buns I bought, did you sesame? If you allow only one spice from a group of suppliers, are you holding them at bay? In baseball, if you eat a little yellow rice while on base, was it saffron first? If it's paprika in the pot, did Dad's gut poke imply that the stew was too bland? Do people who use citrus rind in their medicine have a zest for life? If you ask Cory's buddies to help cook, could they be coriander friends? |
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Bottoms Up to Chakra Yoga The Chakras (Sanskrit for "wheels") of the yogic body are imaginary energy portals that facilitate auto-physiology and auto-psychophysics. The portals are three-dimensional with spectral glow associated with the flux of spacial energies (imagined in the mind) as a means of inspection and transformation of function, health and cooperation of discrete bodily systems along common neural pathways. One may also consider chakras holistically to align the spine, body and spirit. To enhance the heat-energy of the self, one might imagine breathing in atmospheric gold and combining it with the energy absorbed from the red root and blossom it up through to the violet crown. Yogis may chant each om mantra (om in the gut + "oh" in the chest + "umm" in the head) thrice (or 108 times for the devout) to assure periodicity of contemplative communication with each chakra site, then chant the entire series of chakra oms with overall alignment intent. This is best done with a warm body and a clear mind after an hour long session of strenuous yoga (or for those thinking it silly, after a couple glasses of wine). Table of Chakra affiliations:
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The Game Is Afoot He got too big for his boots So he got the boot And soon was down-in-the-heels With two left feet. He shot himself in the foot And then put his foot in his mouth. His feet of clay Allowed the law to bring him to heel. Then the county footed the bill For a fine place For him to cool his heels. You wouldn't want to be in his shoes. He had one foot in the grave But got on his toes And soon the shoe was on the other foot. The jack-heels let him out To toe the line And to get back on his feet. On the heels of his better lot He found his feet, Got his foot in the door, And gained a foothold in a new business. He put one foot in front of the other And can now stand on his own two feet. Setting out on the right foot For him is just getting his feet wet, But with the world at his feet Finding that the shoe fits Has required thinking on his feet While keeping his feet on the ground. So don't drag your feet or get underfoot, Don't be on your back foot, Or have the rug pulled out from under your feet. Don't put your foot down or keep putting your feet up. Don't dig your heels in or get itchy feet. Don't step on any toes or say "my foot" to what's new. But rather be fleet of foot, foot the bill when you can And put your foot to the floor. Avoid cold feet and being dead on your feet. Don't let the grass grow under your feet. Stay footloose and fancy free, kick up your heels And set them all back on their heels. |
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Don't Chalk Up the Foul Line to Larry "Yogi" Berra What they said Yogi said (Yogi-isms):
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What they never said Yogi said (Quasi-Yogi-isms):
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Copyright © 2019 by Joe Pivetti