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Elizabeth Prune

Elizabeth Prune longed for a moniker
Like Eliza or Lizzy or
Maybe Betty or Beth
But Lizard is what she would get.

Ms. rankled Prune is a recovery agent.
She started with shopping carts,
Worked up to furniture and equipment,
Then autos, pick-ups and model home art.

A cop pulls her over with a car in tow,
He says "the owner's paid what he owes
And wants his car back and no jaw."
She says "Bub, repossession is nine tenths of the law."

Lizard is least prepossessed
With voodoo, lucky charms, hexes,
Seances and tarot sessions
When she's between repossessions.

In the paintings and statue recovery union,
If a broken limb can be glued back on,
A trusted senior member agent
Is allowed short term dismemberment.

Lizard hasn't been able to unload a V-8 repo
That's vibrantly labeled with "General Tsou".
It sits in her folks barn, still stuck in reverse;
Being chicken and fulfilling the Charger's curse.

Lizard's got friends down at the repo company office.
When she runs out of jobs she goes face to face
With Dilly, the ex-dealer, Bronco, the ex-ranger,
And manager Winnie, the ex-sexter of checkers.

Lizard got a job to recover a complete dining room set
Where there was the cutest couple that she'd ever met.
While offering cookies Ma Kettle said "the check's in the mail"
So Lizard said "couch in my truck or you'll be bakin' 'em in jail."

Lizard helped snoop out some re-collectable art,
And Picasso's Musketeer was close to her heart,
Whence she said to a wise guy guardian thug
"Move it bub or I'll make you look just like that mug."

Tights tattered, a legless Lizard
Looked down from a slightly pruned tree to a prized rent-a-dog guard
And said "By heck and highwaters, I'm all a flail!
And out on a limb tryin' to recover this darn Mr. Tails."

Lizard lives in a Mobile home
With a couple of 'Bama dogs
(One's a mix and one's fearsome).
They're named Mutt and Chef Billy-Bob.

Lizard visited her folks next door.
There was squirrel stew for dinner,
Followed by shoo-fly pie, white lightning,
TV wrestling and relative in-fighting.

When helping to fix a door kicked in by a chum
She cast about for a guide but found a jumbled mix.
So she wouldn't sidestep getting it plumb
She pointed around and asked "jamb it even to which?"
[And Lizard smiled at the evocation of Ms. Plum and Janet Evanovich]
Dr. Jones I Presume

"Oh Dr. Lee, Dr. Lee.  I am so glad that I have found you.  I was told you'd be next to your rather imposing body guard."  The petite young Asian woman pointed to the mammoth of a man next to her and said "that's Dr. Lee."

I recognized Dr. Jones from an article in the Weird News that I peruse on Thursday nights.  He had inherited Einstein's and Dalton's priceless preserved eyes and within a day of that news they were stolen.  "I don't normally allow strangers to interrupt but I will take your case without discussion.  Here is my card.  Call the number and schedule a meeting with my secretary."  Maude is actually dean Robinson's secretary but I've come to know her and found her to be the best at her job and she has agreed to do the odd jobs for me.

"But this is an emergency..."  I turned away and saw out of the corner of my eye that he was already calling and Maude was answering (she was sitting by herself, as usual, by the window, hoping for any excuse to avoid the crowds at the school affair).

The dean's wife asked if I'd taken on a new case to which I replied "I've got to find out who has eyes for Dr. Jones."

"Oh, Lee, I didn't know you were such a romantic."

The glare I got from Sung would have turned a mortal man to stone but I was wearing imaginary mirrored glasses which deflected the Medusa's gaze.
Euler's Naturally Number One

Newton's laws of motion
Figure in our devotion
To Isaac, the Lord of calculus
And gravity's Earthly attractiveness.

Max and Al partnered the Planck-Einstein relation
That set the photon energy to frequency proportion.
They also played music together in the den;
One playing piano and other violin.

Schrodinger's cat is both dead and alive
In a box with unpredictable radiation.
Erwin is the father of quantum mechanics and derived
The equation for system wave function evolution.

Leonhard's works include equations for beams,
Buckling, inviscid flow and musical theory.
Euler diagrams are used to show syllogisms logically
And the Euler method is still used to solve some ODE's*.

Newton, Einstein, Planck and Schrodinger
Formulated important fundamental laws of nature.
But Euler's identity contains one, none, e, i and pi;
Making him...the most mathematically elegant guy.

*ODE's = Orinary Differential Equations
Proto-Indo-European (When we all spoke PIE)

Linguists say that there is no PIE
(There's just no historical evidence to go by)
But still they reconstructed it to tie Proto-Italic
To Proto-Celtic, -Germanic and -Slavic
Together with other mid-eastern Proto-ese
That originated somewhere north of the Black Sea
(although the salmon argument says it was Baltic).
The Kurgans with their horses migrated many klicks
And their PIE diverged along the way
To evolve into the many daughter languages of today.

PIE likely had complex morphology, resonants,
Ablauts, declension and conjugation.
Laryngealists made PIE fantastique
And added Hittite via coefficients sonantiques.

PIE grew with morphological marker presence
Signaling syntactic relationships within a sentence.
PIE likely had pitch accent and its morphemes inherent inflectional tone;
Word tone evolution made it the fusional language of the Indo-European zone.

PIE people patrilocality is confirmed by lexical evidence.
PIE philosophy focused on the harmony and order of worldly existence.
PIE speakers had bronze, wheels, weaving, knots, farming, fishing,
Goats and sheep but wealth was measured by number of cow tails swishing.

Namaste Means Hello

Yoga is Sanskrit for (spirit, mind, body and divine) "union".
Buddhists incorporated meditation and position
With diverse stretching and isometric exercise.
All help activate and align our Chakra sites.
Yoga is meant to enlighten.
Energy emission and absorption is heightened,
The body warms and loosens,
While the mind focuses on breathing.
Just breathing.

After several passes through asanas
We feel that the path to nirvana's
Both comforting and taxing,
And well worth the reward of relaxing.
"You've made it to Savasana, so
Release onto your mat and let it all go."

[flute music plays while balsam fills the air]

"Now reawaken your body oh so slow.
Start wiggling your fingers and toes.
Then circle ankles and wrists right and then left.
Give yourself a wall to wall stretch.
Roll over to your favorite side and then
Find your way to a comfortable seated position."

[a spiritual silence]

"Bring your hands together;
Palms inward and fingers high.
Bring them to your heart center,
Then to your third eye.
Bow forward to seal your practice.  Namaste.
You are on the right path today."
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